Pure Evil

Once upon
A time I met
____ ____ at
A Greenpeace

Leadership
Retreat.

A real hag
Of a woman,

Scraggly
And manic.
Quiet and
Melancholic.

—-

At first,
I tried to be
Nice to evil.

Why not
Give her a
Chance?

How bad
Could she
Really be?

But this
Evil had

other
plans.

—-

One night,
Some new
Friends & I
Caught her

Finger-painting

With Her own Blood

On The bathroom,
Wall, Cackling, &
Chanting about

Paternal abuse.

We told
Organizers,

And she
Blamed me.

—-

Days went
By and evil
Got crafty.

She would
Watch me
With her evil
Eyes, silent

And piercing,
Wherever I
Went, and she

Progressively
Moved beds,
One by one,

Closer to my
Own, until,

Eventually,
She Was right
Next to mine.

When night
Arrived, I told
GP organizers
What she was
Up to, and they
Moved me into
An entirely
Different cabin

For the final
Night, and I
Finally felt
Like I could
Breathe again.

—-

Morning arrived,
And we packed
All our belongings
In preparation for
The bus ride back.

I got on early, and
Grabbed a window
Seat before anyone
Else had boarded,

And anxiously
Looked out for her
With my legs up on
The only seat next
To me, to passively
Block anyone from
Joining next to me.

Despite many open
Seats behind mine,

A few minutes later,
I saw her. And as
Soon as she saw me,
Without asking, she
Went to sit down

Nearly sitting on top
My outstretched legs.

The next thing I knew
She sat her bag down,

And immediately went
To unfasten a pin, the
Size of a baseball
from Her backpack, &
Made quick work of
Pulling the needle
Away From it’s backing.

Frantically, I grabbed
The pin away from her,
Reprimanded her, say-
Ing, “I‘ll be taking that.!”

As she freaked the
Fuck out, like a true hag,
replying manically,

“No, it’s mine, you can’t
Have it!” But, Thankfully,

Running on Pure Near-
Near-Death adrenaline,
I Pried the pin out of
Her pure evil paws
& loudly Demanded
She sit Somewhere else.

I’m not sure what kind
Of damage pure evil
Is capable of doing
With a single two-inch
Long needle, but that
Morning I didn’t wait
Around to Find the—-
———————fuck out.

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