menticanic

a racing mind
can’t excelerate
without a course
to ride on.

the oil spots
leak down
through
your veins

pollute and
inflame
the muscles
with stress.

the cars
must be
put away
sometime.

clear the roads,
wash the
state of them.

sit in
the absence,
and breathe.

Slippery

Have you ever
been somewhere

And just thought,

“Oh my god,
I am actually
Losing my mind.

This is what
Releasing
The grip
On sanity

Feels like.”

I just did,

Watching two
[Insanely
Too] attractive
People

be In love
| All over |
Each other.

She took
Her hair
Out of
A bun And

locked tresses
Fell perfectly.

I Keep Forgetting

I left
the teapot
on

not hearing
it whistle

long enough
to burn it
again.

by the time
i remembered

i had to
pry its
hot metal
bottom

from sautered
spiral prison.

hope it
will
forgive me

[salvage
charless tasting
oatmeal water]

For forgetting
about it

while it
killed itself
on burner.

lying
in bed

i hear it
whistling
placebo;

[we could
have ruined
it this time]

A guilt
calloused
melody
of sorrow.

Nobody

Craves a
fucking salad.

chop me up
and throw
me into
your mouth,

crunch down
on me
and swallow

eating me
will not
nourish you
[but that
isn’t what
you’re
going for]

sweetheart,

i will not
make you
beautiful

but you
will love
me for it.

Crisp

A Beautiful Prison For Them

This is where
all of the
horrible things
live.

I lifted it
from my drawer
and exhaled,

“oh no,”

accidentally
letting my animal
out of it’s cage.

I forgot
where
My memories
had moved to.

I changed
their address

and lost their
coordinates.

it was not
a part of me
anymore

because
[because]

it had already
served
It’s purpose.

I was looking for
something else in
my dresser drawers

but, there
it Was
still
very much
real.

my ex boyfriend
bought me
this notebook
as a present

when we were
on our first
[and only]
trip together.

his love was
purposeful
and pure

in a list
of mine
that weren’t.

if i was
to believe
in fate,

he would be
a catalyst
incarnate.

some may argue,

“it’s a shame
to scribble
experiences of
sexual assault
and harassment
on such
beautiful pages.”

But isn’t it
always a shame,

however you
dress them,

and wherever
They lie?

Uniform

Toxicity Didn’t Kill Me

i remember

it looked
like a
smashed
strawberry

when the
gynecologist
pryed the
tampon
out of me.

I was a
20 year old

Raped
in my
childhood
bedroom

by a boy who
used “i love you”‘s
like a
trojan horse.

three days
later,
I didn’t
remember.

trauma does
that to you
[even though
for some,
sexual assault
is a punch-line
these days].

lying back
Stirruped feet,

i was just
as surprised
as the doctor

who gutted
the rotten
tissue-soaked
cotten from me.

they told me,

“you should
have been
dead of
toxic shock.”

they couldn’t
see it, but,
a part
of me
was dead.

He ended
up cheating
on me

because I
withheld sex
from him.
[after the fact]

“Boys will be boys,”

Right?