Broken Air Bags

My mothers lungs
have tranformed
into sponge’d glass

slowly
Filling themselves;

Accumulating
In their bottoms.

suffocation
Slowly creeps
Up her vines

where air
used to live.

it did go
in and out,

i saw it
happen;

dwelling
effortlessly
in her pause.

[but not
anymore]

I Keep Forgetting

I left
the teapot
on

not hearing
it whistle

long enough
to burn it
again.

by the time
i remembered

i had to
pry its
hot metal
bottom

from sautered
spiral prison.

hope it
will
forgive me

[salvage
charless tasting
oatmeal water]

For forgetting
about it

while it
killed itself
on burner.

lying
in bed

i hear it
whistling
placebo;

[we could
have ruined
it this time]

A guilt
calloused
melody
of sorrow.

I Need Feminism Because Peeping Tom

The peeping tom
has taken up
running or biking

whatever it is
that requires
two-piece spandex
body suits

and frequenting
my coffee shop

since I moved.

when I feel
his eyes on me
staring
as I sit at
my table,

or staring
as I enter
from a walk;

I would rather
take an
orangepeeler
to my skin,

leatherworking
an abaya from
my own flesh

then be
seen.

nowhere to Go but Down

Last night
i scaled
a tower

being built
as I
went up
in its
elevator.

when
the door
opened

it revealed
a single-tile
floor,

leaving
space for
two feet.

a passenger
in the lift,

remarked
Anxiously,

“this
building
is made
entirely
of books,

how unsafe.”

the other

[testing
the tile
with a
foot]

Depressingly
warned,

“if you
distribute
your weight
wrong,

it
and you
will
surely

fall.”

i stepped
out onto
the textual
platform

leaned
backward

and
free fell
face-up.

defensive drugged dismembering

i had
that dream,
again;

where I’ve
been drugged.

I always
learn
After
the fact.

there is
nothing
I can do
now,
but wait.

then,
someone
is trying
to kill me.

sexual assault
PTSD
is always
fear
of being
caught,
again.

your mind
will not
let you
forget.

i have to
cut off
their limbs
with a knife

once
knocking
them
to the
ground.

[they can
always
reach me]

they grow
back together
if not
[sufficently]
sliced up.

my mind is
-familiar
in how
caught
vulnerabilty
feels.

last night
i told the
attackers,

“that’s not
fair-

-growing
back together
that way”

[like the
structure
was meant
to protect
you

inspite
of me]

“life isn’t
fair”

they reply.

gut knots

Before
you get
ahead of
yourself,

it isnt
unusual
for me

to tie
my insides
in knots

preparing
for a
chase.

Do not
mistake
my lack
of ease
over
-you
as
over-inflated
self-grandeur.

My body
has
-always
reacted to
interacting
with it’s
outside world

like the
impending
attack of
a lion.


Symptom

the shrub frightening

When
on a walk
Without
glasses

you get
a glimpse
of a
tall shrub

but,
blurry eyes
see instead,
a predator.

parasympathetic
nervous system

ally frost mage

casts
flash freeze on
your heart
for protection.

it
doesn’t
feel
bad?
exactly.

you know
the feeling
,

Breezy night
hands
hugged
lovingly
around
the organ
responsible
for running
you.

adrenal glands
send their
damp chill
lightning-strike
reminder

–you do
want
to live.

Blur

rules about love from a naive mind

one)
love is a
many pronged creature

 
it doesn’t know
it’s own name

 
it is homeless
even if you build walls around it

it is afraid of you
it has experienced
this world

 
if you try
to call out to it

 
it will cock
it’s head
at you

 
like the
lost thing
it is

 
it’s exterior
of wet soap
a greased pig

 
it cannot clean you

 
do not
chase
after
it

now matter
how delicious

 
it does
not
want
to be
captured

 
it does
not
want
to capture

 
two)
there are
copycat manifestations

 
like
poisonous mushrooms

they will
walk it’s walk

display
it’s features

 
you will taste
something
wrong of them

 
you will
ignore it

 
it will
slowly
kill you

like alcoholism

 
you will
relish
every drop
of sweat

it rings
itself out
to produce

quenching
your thirst
for it

 
three)
fools
will try
to cage it

 
they believe
it owes them
something

 
they are
wrong

 
instead:
make a
spot up
for it

send out
the RSVP

 
don’t expect
or
fixate
on it

 
don’t read
too much
into it
(you will)

 
patiently
wait
for it
to
stumble
home

snuggle in
next to you

only

if it
so chooses.

leave the light on

where’s
someone to
leave
the light on
for?

companion’d
security
and belonging.

unraveled sprawl
of legs and arms
on crisp
cool nights.


 
force me
out of
this box

and into
unknown.

explore with me
wild abandon
future

with a
light grasp.

making their
everything mine,

only once
rightfully
discovered.

revel in
their
workings

by virtue
of my own.

let them
never
hand me
anything

they
wouldn’t
be afraid
to watch
being
dissected.

be
patient

and expect
mirrored
flaws

with this
world;

contructed
and
intertwined

with
superficial
indignity.